Misguided Ghosts
by Mysticeyes1819
Summary: Set right after the car accident in 3x22 . She chose Stefan, but will the accident and her transition change her view on everything? On Damon? Time is seeming to bring these two together, and with everything heightened and confused Elena just might crack under the pressure. *DE. Smut and such later on*
1. The Day That Changed Them All

_A/N: This is the only chapter with Stefan's POV. I'm not really sure why I did his POV but I felt it was necessary lol. Thank you for viewing! Reviews are very welcome!(:_

* * *

Swallowed whole into a dark silence. That's what it felt like to Elena as she sat trapped in Matt's old pickup truck underneath Whickery Bridge. She never thought this was how she would go, feeling her lungs fill up slowly and painfully with water. She had given up the will to fight it moments earlier letting her muscles relax and float in the chair. Watching millions of movies never prepared her for this, how death really was or felt. It seemed like time had slowed down indefinitely, each moment making her mind race faster through the memories of her life. From growing up with Bonnie and Caroline, to the day she met Stefan and her life changed forever, Elena knew she wouldn't be able to make new memories anymore.

For what seemed like hours she forced her eyes to stay open, staring off into the blurry water constantly checking the open door in hopes to see Stefan's figure swimming towards her to help get her out of the death trap. Feeling the stinging in her eyes from the water, she finally allowed her eyes to shut. Even though she knew it was probably the worst decision to do she was loosing herself to the silence that consumed her, unable to fight it any longer.

Even though she knew she could die slightly happy knowing Matt was safe, she couldn't help but feel like she was giving up on everyone. Could she fight it any further? Would it just make it worse? She was confused but it was like her body was answering her questions for her. Slowly she felt body grow colder, her blood slowing down. Letting out a slight hiccup of air she felt herself drift off into nothingness. A cold, dark, sleep embraced her and she had no choice but to let go.

* * *

Stefans POV:

For once in his life, Stefan thought he couldn't move fast enough. Swimming back up to the surface with Matt, he practically bounded out of the water. Moving Matt over to the side he knew he had to check if he was alright. Hearing nothing he quickly locked his hands together pressing them where Matt's heart was, pumping them up and down begging for there to be a pulse. If Matt died and Elena survived Stefan knew she might as well have died with Matt, dragging that guilt with her everywhere she went.

Jumping back suddenly as Matt sat straight up, he watched as he gasped for air wide eyed trying to rack his brain over what had just happened.

"Matt, are you alright? Does anything hurt?" Stefan questioned frantically hoping Matt would answer quickly so he could go get Elena.

"Yeah I...I'm ok. Where's Elena? Stefan, Elena's still in the car!" says frantically realizing what was going on.

"I know. Matt I know. I'm going to get her right now but I need you to calm down alright? We don't know what could be wrong with you." says calmly feeling like his race was pulsing madly.

Seeing Matt nod in silence Stefan took that as an ok and blurred over to the water, jumping in as fast as he could. Swimming hard down into the water he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

"Please be ok, please be ok." Stefan thought to himself over and over finally reaching the car.

Grabbing onto the door frame to hold him down, he froze seeing her. She looked like a rag doll, just floating against the seat in tune with the current flowing past them. He felt like he couldn't breath not able to hear her heart beat, the one he had such a hard time being around controlling his urges, the one he fell in love with knowing she could live a normal human life unlike his brother and himself. She looked peaceful though, like nothing bad had happened to her at all and she was just in a deep sleep.

Quickly snapping out of it, he broke off the seat belt that trapped her. Grabbing her lifeless body he swam hard back up to the surface, seeing Matt's stunned face no doubt staring at Elena. Holding Elena in his arms he fell to his knees feeling like he was going to pass out. Elena couldn't be dead, she just couldn't.

"Stefan? She's ok right? Stefan...Stefan!" Matt yelled out shaking Stefans shoulder seeing him zone out staring down at Elena.

"Sh...She's gone." Stefan finally let out feeling his eyes glaze over. He wasn't sure what emotion he was feeling at that point. He was angry at himself for letting his manners take over, taking Matt out of the car first over Elena. He was sad for obvious reasons, Elena was dead laying in his arms. He mostly felt numb unsure of what to do at this point.

"We have to get her to a hospital Stefan. We can't just stay here." Matt said almost calmly, noticing Stefan's numb expression.

Nodding in agreement, he picked Elena up blurring with her to the hospital. He figured Matt was well enough to call someone to get him and no doubt tell someone about Elena. Finding Meredith moments as he walked inside, he saw her expression change drastically like she saw a ghost. Without saying a word she guided Stefan to a back room where no one could see. Looking around he knew it had to be some type of storage room seeing empty blood bags, medical tools, and computers scattered throughout the small room. Taking a deep breath he watched as Meredith layed out a metal bed out that looked almost the same as the ones they use in the morgue.

"Here, lay her down. I'll make sure no one comes in. But Stefan, there is something you have to know. You might want to sit down for this." says calmly standing away so he could lay Elena down.

* * *

Damons POV:

Damon knew in that moment what had happened. Rocking back and forth with Alaric in his arms he was shaking as his chin trembled. "This can't be happening. No...NO!" Yelled out unable to move off of the floor of the storage center. Looking at the now grayed face of Alaric he knew he couldn't just leave his best friend on the floor of some strange place.

Picking him up he blurred out to his car, lightly groaning at the pain in his ribs almost forgetting he was practically beaten to death less than 10 minutes ago. Taking a few deep breaths he pushed through the pain, laying Alaric in the back seat of the car before getting in driving quickly towards Mystic Falls.

It seemed like hours driving back to Mystic Falls. Usually car drives went by pretty quickly since he always took the back roads, but this time everything felt different. Finally reaching his destination he swerved into the parking lot almost hitting a few cars trying to park. He couldn't loose her, not now, not like this.

"_I can't loose you." Damon breathed out looking down at his balled up fist in her soft nurturing hands before looking back up at her._

_He couldn't believe she was so willing to give up her life for everyone. Sure, he had finally realized she was nothing like Katherine but moments like this took him by surprise. He had never known someone to care for anything as much as Elena cared for them._

"_You won't." Elena said in response softly, rubbing her fingers delicately against his tense ones. _

Leaving Alaric in the car he rushed into the hospital looking around frantic, avoiding running into people at all costs.

"Where is she. Where is she!" Damon says feeling his voice rise seeing Meredith coming near him.

* * *

Elenas POV:

It wasn't like waking up from sleeping. When she would wake up from sleeping the night before, she knew at the back of her mind she had just woken up and that she was slowly coming out of her sleep. But this, this was very different. She hadn't even known she woke up. The next thing she knew she was sitting straight up gasping for air, feeling a overwhelming sense of coldness. Finally moving her eyes she breathed heavily looking around taking in her surroundings.

"S...Stefan?" Elena breathed out hardly audible over her heavy breaths, her body still trying to clear the water from her lungs.

"Elena, hey. It's ok, it's ok." Stefan says getting up from the chair, wiping his face clean of tears before kneeling in front of her taking her hand.

Sitting in silence, Elena examined Stefan still breathing heavy. He had obviously been crying, seeing the puffiness in his face and the shine that reflected off his cheeks. Burrowing her eyebrows she slowly started to question herself how she was even awake, or alive at that moment. She could have sworn she died in that car. Wasn't that what death felt like? She knew every inch of her burned and begged her to let go, so how was this even happening?

"Hey, Elena you're ok. We're at the hospital, everyone is on their way. Everything is going to be fine." Stefan lets out calmly putting his hand on her cheek, rubbing it slightly seeing her obvious confusion.

"What happened? How am I awake right now? I could of sworn I.." trails off not wanting to continue the sentence, shifting in her spot getting flashes of herself still underwater.

"Elena, when Jeremy brought you in after you hit your head, the damage was worse then Meredith realized. She had to help you in her own way." notes quietly scanning her face hoping she wouldn't over react even though he knew that was too much to ask for.

"What?" she spat out tensing up, burrowing her eyebrows.

What was he even talking about? She helped her in her own way? Racking her brain to put the pieces together she suddenly felt her face drop. She hadn't even realized how she was feeling, what she was hearing. Putting her hands up to her temples she rubbed them, feeling the throbbing take over forcing her face to scrunch lightly. Dropping her hands she listened hard hearing noises she knew she shouldn't be able to hear. People walking through the halls, multiple people's conversations becoming louder and louder. Finally the noise was unbearable so she slammed her hands against her ears. Understanding what it all meant she widened her eyes, looking into Stefan's. She had spent enough time around people in transition to know what it was like, how it was suppose to be.

Quickly getting up, she heard the clang of the metal bed fall to the floor before feeling lightheaded. Looking around she saw Stefan at the corner of her eye obviously standing guard just in case she fell or did something crazy.

"Don't touch me!" yelled out shaking her arm feeling Stefan try and grab it lightly before seeing him let go. "Sorry I..." trails of shaking her head taking a deep breath.

Walking over to a chair she sat down, sitting on her legs. Looking down at the floor she sniffled slightly, unable to talk or move from being in shock. She was in transition, she would either die or become a vampire. She couldn't believe her life had turned out this way. Trying not to think about it she let out a sigh before looking up and over at Stefan who was now leaning up against the wall across form her.

"Matt. Is he alright?" she questions worryingly trying to act like nothing happened to her, still caring about the ones she loves.

"Yeah. He was just more worried about you. I think we both were...for obvious reasons." he responds softly crossing his arms in front of him.

Nodding lightly she trailed her gaze back to the floor tensing up slightly. She knew Stefan probably felt guilty, that this was the last thing he wanted for her. But she was glad he stuck to her wishes. She didn't know how she would go on, knowing she indirectly had Matt killed. She knew Rebekah had been there, that she was just trying to kill Elena. She saw how close Rebekah was being with Matt. Her plan was all to attack her, not Matt.

Examining the lines on the floor, she felt her eyes well up thinking about the outcome everything had come to. What would Jeremy think? Would Bonnie ever talk to her again if she goes through with the transition?

"Elena.." Stefan breathes out seeing Elena about to break before hearing the storage room door open quickly.

Hearing a loud noise Elena cringed slightly before hearing a familiar voice, the calming voice that would help her even when she didn't want it. Looking up towards the sounds of the bickering she saw Damon and Meredith before seeing the conversation drop quickly, their faces numb.

"Damon." Elena says through her cracked voice with a weak smile.


	2. The Decision

Damon had never been so happy to hear someone say his name then in that moment. That voice he had fell in love with, that voice he thought he would never hear again was there right in front of him. Still unable to process that she was alive, he stood there staring at her examining every feature. She looked pale like someone had just ripped through her and drained her blood. She still had a slight blood spot on her forehead but it had healed which made him swallow hard knowing it was all thanks to the vampire blood in her system, his blood.

Deciding to snap out of his thoughts he walked straight over to her, ramming into Meredith in the process before kneeling down in front of her careful not to touch any part of her.

"Elena, are you alright? Does anything hurt?" Damon asked quietly, knowing the noise level was probably killing her ears.

"Damon I already asked her that. She's fine." Stefan responds uncrossing his arms now standing close by.

"Really Stefan? Well considering you can't even save her right I figured you would have messed up simple questions." he snaps out in response over his shoulder before turning his gaze back to Elena.

"I'm fine Damon, really. I'm just glad you and Stefan didn't die." Elena says with a slight nod and a weak smile.

He knew her better then that, hell, she had picked up most of her fake tricks from Stefan and himself. It brought up painful memories from his past. Not understanding how he had woken up, hearing sounds he shouldn't be hearing. He wouldn't let her go through this on her own, especially not with his brother.

Deciding not to press it, he gave her a weak smile. Arguing with her was the last thing she needed but if she thought he would just give up at the drop of a hat she was wrong.

"We need to get you home. Now." he ordered looking around the small room they were in, now filled with people.

"I can't Damon. I don't want to see anyone, not yet." she snaps out softly shaking her head feeling like the tears were seconds from escaping her eyes.

"Let her stay Damon. She needs time." Stefan says quietly putting his hand on Damon's shoulder.

"Get off of me!" he growls out twisting around quickly, standing up in Stefan's face. "You have no say in this. Not anymore Stefan. How idiotic could you be! This is Elena! You just willingly let her die to save some stupid human." pushes on Stefan's shoulders lightly feeling his anger rise.

"Stop it!" Elena finally cries out, burying her face in her hands starting to cry.

Stopping inches from Stefan's face he turned his head towards Elena, feeling like his heart had dropped seeing her cry. Blurring over to her he took a deep breath trying to calm himself down.

"Elena, I'm sorry. Please, come here." murmurs out before picking her up off of the chair, cradling her in his arms as he watches her dig her face into his chest continuing to cry.

Looking over at Stefan he lightly nodded before walking past him out of the door. Seeing everyone in the waiting room he shook his head as he watched Jeremy and Caroline try and make their way over to them. As they took the hint they showed a look of complete sadness on their faces as he felt his face empty, walking away.

He would have just used his vampire speed to get them there quicker, but for the first time in his life he wanted to be gentle. He knew everything was on haywire for her, especially under the circumstances, so he wanted to make this as simple for her as possible. Walking inside her house, he made his way upstairs and into her room. Laying her down on top of the covers he hadn't even noticed she fell asleep. Brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek, he lightly wiped away the wetness from her tears. She looked tired, like she had been through too much in a short period of time. It was heartbreaking knowing he had a part in it.

Deciding to wait until she woke up, he pulled a chair from her vanity cabinet across the room and sat it next to the bed. Sitting in it he kicked his feet up on the edge of the bed and watched her until his eyelids too were growing heavy, eventually falling asleep.

* * *

Waking up to herself yawning, Elena blinked lightly opening her eyes. Seeing Damon asleep on the chair next to her bed she smiled halfheartedly. It was nice to see how much he cared still, after she knew she probably broke his heart choosing Stefan. But her choices right now didn't bother her. What bothered her was the fact that she was technically dead, she had died in that car underwater. Feeling her eyes well up at the thought, she blinked them away before grabbing a pillow. Fluffing it up a bit in her hands, she threw it at Damon getting a sudden jump out of him.

"What the hell?" Damon lets out before taking a deep breath. "Oh, Elena, you're awake. How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" adds softly leaning forward, resting his arms on his legs.

Shrugs lightly unsure of what to say. She had not idea what she was feeling, everything was just a jumble of mixed emotions and she hated it. "I'm fine I guess. I just feel really hungry." says quietly before biting her lip. She knew what being hungry meant for her, that her time was coming soon and she needed to make a decision. But she was almost in denial not believing this was happening to her.

Scooting closer Damon took Elena's hand in his, rubbing his thumbs across her skin trying to be soothing.

"You're getting hungry...aren't you." sighs trying to stay calm. "Elena, you need to make a decision soon. We will all support you with whatever you choose." Damon mentions slightly under his breath with obvious sadness in his voice.

Hearing him speak she tensed up at first. How could he tell she was hungry? Was she acting a certain way? Did her eyes darken? She hated all of these unanswered questions. As he continued she scanned his face, knowing his underlying comment. He had always made it clear he wasn't going to loose her but now here he was suddenly ok with her dying? She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to be a vampire, she never wanted to be one especially after seeing how terrible the effects are because of it. But she didn't want to leave everyone behind, she didn't want to die. Swallowing hard she knew what she had to do, even if it wasn't for herself.

"I know what I have to do." responds blankly looking into Damon's eyes nervously.

"And what's that?" burrows his eyebrows slightly wondering what was going through her head.

"I'm going to go through with the transition." lets out a shaky breath feeling her heart race fast, unsure if it was from her sudden newsflash or the feeling the always had around Damon.

"Are you sure? Have you thought through it all Elena?" Damon says almost frantic, excited that she might not actually die but worried she would regret it.

"Yes." murmurs out looking sure of her decision. She was definitely not sure about her decision, but she hasn't been sure about any of her decisions lately. "I'm not going to leave everyone, Jeremy needs me too since I'm sure Rick didn't...make it...since I..." trails off taking a deep breath. She had almost forgotten about their connection and what that meant for him. Feeling the lump in her throat she swallowed hard.

"Alright. I'll get you some blood. You don't need to hunt just yet. We'll ease you into it." he informs her with a weak smile before patting her hand lightly, getting up. "Just rest ok? Your body needs to get use to it all." adds before turning to walk out of her room.

Nodding at Damon's comments she scooted back on her bed, leaning up against the headboard. She didn't even notice how weak she felt, like she hadn't eaten in days. She was sure she probably looked terrible but she didn't care. Sitting there she took a deep breath feeling her nerves kick in. This was really happening, she was about to officially turn into a vampire. Would people hate her now? Would she have trouble with her urges like Stefan does? So many questions were flying through her head she didn't even know where to start.

Suddenly hearing the front door slam downstairs she burrowed her eyebrows trying to focus on hearing who it was. She didn't have to focus long though before hearing bickering downstairs go on between Stefan and Damon. Trying to tune them out she made herself comfortable in the bedsheets as much as she could, wrapping her arm around the pillow. She felt strange, like the girl she knew was gone and for some reason she was sleeping in someone else bed. But maybe she was, that part of her life was now gone and changed. Swallowing hard she tried to focus on looking at the little knick knacks in her room, tuning out the obvious fight going on below her.

"Elena.." breathed a soothing familiar voice which made her sit straight up from her laying position.

"Stefan." she responded in a defeated tone before burrowing her eyebrows seeing him holding the blood bag. "Where's Damon? He was getting me a bag and...wait...why aren't your eyes darkening?" asks almost worried scanning his face.

"Shh don't worry about that right now alright?" says softly walking over to the edge of the bed, sitting down. "Damon, he um, left. He went back to the boarding house. He'll be back later alright?" takes a deep breath flashing her a ghost of a smile etched on his lips hoping she would calm down.

Why did he leave? She felt a slight pang in her chest feeling almost deserted. But why should she care so much, she had Stefan right in front of her. She had obviously chosen him so why did she feel so alone? Confused by her thoughts and feelings she stayed silent before leaning forward, ignoring the bag and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him tight. She dug her fingers into the back of his neck lightly trying to find the comfort she needed, the comfort she always found with Stefan. But all she could feel was numb, sad that Damon had left.

"Elena, hey...you're ok. You're going to be ok. I promise." Stefan whispers softly wrapping his arms around her, rubbing her back.

Nodding she took a deep breath backing away. "I know. I just...never mind. So, I have to drink it?" swallows hard feeling her nerves kick back in.

"Yes. You don't have to drink the whole bag if you don't want to. Just enough to finish the transition. You will know when you've drank enough." says softly before ripping the bag apart, sticking the tube in so it looked like a straw. Tensing up slightly he carefully handed it to Elena.

Taking one last deep breath she took the bag from Stefan and sat in silence for a few moments. This was the last thing she wanted for herself. She should have just walked away, understood that it was for the best and live a normal life. But of course she had to go and be stubborn, follow her heart. Slowly, she brought the bag up to her lips seeing Stefan at the corner of her eye on guard ready for whatever she needed. Sucking slowly on the tube she suddenly felt the copper tasting fluid hit her mouth. She didn't flinch or jump, after many times of almost dying, she had to drink blood to heal herself. After a few minutes, she burrowed her eyebrows realizing the copper taste slowly disappear. But what replaced it was a overwhelming taste, almost like she hadn't drank water in days. Gripping the bag harder she began to suck on the tub faster until she felt her eyes darken, her skin under her eyes prickling, no doubt revealing the veins.

Throwing the bag almost out of reflex, she froze watching it hit the wall across of her room surprisingly not letting out any blood hitting the floor. Breathing heavy she knew it was done, she had finished the transition. Seeing Stefan about to say something she shook her head, as if to silently tell him to not even start. Swallowing hard she looked away trying to process everything that was happening, staying completely silent.

"Elena.." Stefan sighs cocking his head slightly almost begging her to tell him to do something.

"No...Stefan...don't." says under her breath before looking up at him. "Please, can you just lay with me? I feel so tired." murmurs out looking into his eyes.

"Yeah, of course." he responds with a weak smile before kicking off his shoes.

Smiling lightly she moved over as he laid back on her bed, instantly looking comfortable resting his head on his arm. Scooting down she laid back down, wrapping her arm around him and laid her head on his chest with a sigh. Feeling him run his fingers through her brown locks, she tilted her head up slightly scanning his face. She didn't know what she was looking for. An answer, an explanation, anything. Nothing made sense to her anymore, but for some reason when she was around Damon it was like nothing had to matter.

"You're staring again." smirks with his eyes closed.

"I told you, I'm gazing. It's romantic." snaps in response finally feeling a genuine smile creep on her lips. Letting out a yawn she tilted her head back down, closing her eyes. "Goodnight Stefan."

"Goodnight Elena." Stefan says soothingly.

Every other night she knew those words would make her fall fast asleep in an instant. But tonight was different, everything was. All she could do was hold onto him tight, staring off into the cracks in her wall waiting for the sun to rise.

* * *

"_She needs me Damon. She made her choice, you told me so you should know." Stefan says softly leaning up against the counter top in Elena's kitchen. _

_Pacing back and forth he let the bag bounce around in his hands, gripping it hard, frankly surprised it hadn't burst yet. "I know she made her damn choice ok? But I'm not going to leave her, especially not now. Do you honestly think you can help her Stefan? Hmm? You can barely control yourself! How do you think that's going to turn out?" growls out before walking over to his brother standing inches away. _

"_You're right. She does need you. I'm still trying to control things on my own, but she needs both of us Damon. She needs us." responds quietly letting out a sigh._

_Feeling his lips make a flat line, he scanned his brothers face intently before letting out a huff. "I'll leave...for now. But not because you said anything. I'll leave because it's what she wants. I'll...be at the boarding house." says blankly before handing over the blood bag, walking past Stefan towards the front door._

_Reaching the door he stopped, turning around to look up the stairs. He contemplated if he should tell her he was leaving but he knew he shouldn't. He shouldn't let himself care this much anymore, she made her choice. But he couldn't just turn it back off again, he loved her too much. Clenching his jaw at the thought he saw Stefan standing in the kitchen doorway examining him like he was some intriguing toy. Letting out a huff he turned back around and left quietly, careful not to slam the door._

Reaching the boarding house, he thought his brain was going to explode from all of the events that happened. Elena was going to be a vampire, Alaric was dead, and Klaus was dead or so he thought. At this point he didn't even care about Klaus, he was too worried about Elena. Slamming the the door behind him he threw his jacket on the chair in the living room before walking over to the liquor cabinet. Drumming his fingers over the bottles he grabbed an old bottle of burbon. He knew tonight he was going to need the hard stuff. Elena, the girl who he loved, chose Stefan then turned into a vampire. What more could possibly go wrong? Looking at the cabinet shelf where the glass was he stood in silence before turning around, forgetting about the glass. Walking over to the couch he felt his legs give out, plopping on the couch with the bottle in his hand. He was so confused on how Elena had such a big impact on him. Sure, he never really believed his brother, he thought she was just like Katherine and he felt for her because of it. But as time moved on, somewhere along the way, something clicked. He knew she was nothing like Katherine, that he started feeling for Elena because of the way she was.

Taking a large gulp from the bottle he scrunched his face slightly feeling it burn down his throat. Staring off into the fire he couldn't stop the images flashing through his mind. If Elena turned out to be like Stefan, having problems controlling his urges, he didn't know what he would do. It was already killing him that he had even left Elena in the obviously incapable hands of his brother. Feeling his anger rise he threw the bottle hard into the fireplace, hearing the glass shatter as the fire momentarily exploded. He hadn't even noticed his phone vibrating on the couch before turning his head seeing something light up. As Stefan's name flashed across the screen he rolled his eyes. Stefan was the last person he wanted to talk to at the moment but he huffed, grabbing the phone.

"I'm not giving you pointers on how to have better sex Stefan." he says sarcastically, taking another gulp from the bottle.

"Woah woah woah, slow down Stefan. What's going on?" adds burrowing his eyebrows hearing the worry and frantic in his voice.

"She's gone Damon. We fell asleep in her bed. I woke up and she's gone!"

Feeling his face fall flat, he swore he was going to pass out right then and there. "She's what?"


	3. The First Time

_A/N: Sorry this took me for freaking EVER to update! I got in a bad car accident which took over my life then school started and work so real life hit me hard. But here I am updating this! Thank you for the review and comments they really mean alot! I hope you all still like the story!(: Comments and reviews are always welcome._

* * *

She had tried to fall asleep, she really did. Closing her eyes and trying to focus on the soft beating of Stefan's heart, relaxing into his touch as his chest rose and fell. She was glad that even though they were technically dead, their hearts still beat, even if it was soft and barely there. It reminded her that they weren't monsters. That there was still something human there, no matter how small.

But even as she tried to get lost in her thoughts and the slow movement of things around her, she couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment. Why had Damon left? She felt so calm, comfortable, at peace around him. Something she suddenly knew she didn't feel around Stefan. Sure she loved Stefan, so why was she feeling this way between the two brothers? The two most important people in her life besides Jeremy?

Swallowing hard she shifted in her spot, forcing her eyes closed trying to change her train of thought to anything other then what was consuming her in that moment. She would figure out her feelings later. Right now she needed to get use to her new life, the fact that she had changed forever.

Listening to the owls and the small animals outside, she slowly started to relax into Stefan before hearing ruffling through the fallen leaves outside in the woods. Focusing more on her hearing she heard a voice. She could tell the person was alone, probably singing along with a ipod playing since they sounded like they were attempting to carry some sort of tune. But just as she was deciphering more and more details on the person passing by her house, that was when she smelled it. The smell that she never thought she would ever crave. The heavenly scent that she saw her friends completely loose it over.

The blood flooded her senses. Hearing the liquid flow through the humans veins, remembering how good it tasted when she drank from the bag only a few hours earlier. Slowly her normal thoughts drifted off to her hunger, suddenly realizing how hungry she was still. She didn't know what it was like to feel the loss of control, giving into the hunger. But she knew she was slowly giving in to the darkness that called out to her and she felt like she had no control over it.

Carefully she pulled her arm back from Stefan, backing away from him careful not to wake him. He looked so tired laying on her bed completely passed out. She didn't blame it though. She knew he was probably stressed out after the events that had happened in the past 24 hours. She didn't want this, for herself or anybody. Sure it was nice having people care this much about her, knowing someone would always be there for her. But she hated seeing the effect it was having on the ones she loved, especially Stefan. She knew people were already judging him and giving him crap for not saving Elena first. Hell, she saw it first hand in the hospital between Damon and Stefan, which was the last thing she wanted to do. Get in between their relationship any further.

Letting out a sigh she scanned his face a moment just wanting to kiss and hold him, but the scent and sound of the blood flooded her senses once again, snapping her out of her thoughts. Licking her lips she could feel her mouth practically watering, getting up off of the bed. Slipping on her flats she was glad she hadn't changed into her pajamas when they first returned home. Sure it was a little eerie that she was in the same cloths she died in, but it beat being in her pajamas going outside in the middle of the night.

Remembering she was a vampire now she smirked, knowing she could easily slip out of the house quickly and quietly. How though? That was another question. She tried to remember what Stefan and Caroline told her about being a vampire and remembered that using the super speed was like running as fast as she could. Nodding at her own thoughts she took a deep breath before starting to run towards her bedroom door as fast as she could.

Suddenly she felt like she was almost flying through the air, barely touching the floor. Wind flew past her at lightning speed but it didn't effect her sight. She always hated sticking her head out while on a car ride, having the fast wind sting her eyes. But it was like she had a invisible shield in front of her so it didn't hit her directly. Stopping where she was running she took a few deep breaths, not realizing how tiring it was and almost forgetting to check where she was even going.

Looking around she stood up straighter, happy she was at her destination in the woods. Where the human was though? She had no idea.

"One step at a time." she thought to herself trying to give her some credit.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath trying to focus on her hearing wondering where the person was. She knew this was wrong, that she should have Stefan at least with her. But she was just so hungry, her stomach was practically clawing at her. She just wanted a taste. It shouldn't be that hard to pull away...right?

Hearing the familiar ruffling through the leaves, she smirked, quickly opening her eyes once again. Walking quickly she knew the person was close, feeling her hunger become more evident like it knew what was coming. Finally she saw the human a few feet in front of her. Noticing it was a man she cocked her head a moment, examining the man's mannerisms and the way he carried himself. She wondered if she could take him on but then quickly remembered she was a vampire, she could handle anybody.

Blurring over in front of the man she smiled, feeling the veins make themselves known under her eyes and her gums throbbing.

"Hello there." Elena says in a almost zoned out state. She didn't know what was overcoming her in that moment, but a part of her didn't care. All she cared about was taming the beast that was inside her and the only thing that could cure that was the man in front of her.

* * *

_"She's gone Damon. We fell asleep in her bed. I woke up and she's gone!"_

Stefan's words repeated over and over again in his mind as he hung up on him. He didn't give him a chance to explain any further, feeling his anger go through the roof. First he lets Elena die and now this? He swore he would never give into whatever his brother said ever again. That was the last time he would bend to his brother's wishes. Everyone judged Damon and never gave him a second chance and yet here he was giving Stefan one and he ruined it. He wouldn't risk Elena's life like that ever again if he had any say in the matter.

Quickly he grabbed his leather jacket and slid it on as he multitasked calling Elena's phone. He figured Stefan had already tried to call but he had to make sure himself. Who knew if Elena was just not answering for Stefan? Maybe, just maybe she would answer for him. How could his brother be so stupid? When Damon was there he made sure he locked and blocked all the exits, knowing if he fell asleep and she sniffed anything close to blood her urges would take over.

They always did...the urges. Being a newborn sucked and he knew firsthand. Though he had to go through all of it on his own. He mostly stayed in hiding for awhile, slowly easing himself into things. But it was the hardest thing he ever had to do, even with the switch completely off. He still didn't want to get caught, be like his brother. He knew Elena was going through the same thing, everyone did, and it made him nervous as hell.

He knew the moment the hunger subsided she would become overwhelmed with guilt. Stefan loved to rub that in Damon's face when he forced fed her his blood before the sacrifice. He didn't even give it much thought until then. Elena always did feel for other people, feel their hurt and pain. And if she drained someone completely, he didn't know how he would be able to fix it. He didn't know when he became this person, caring and thinking through every plan and thought. It had always been his brother. Stefan was the good one. So when did everything start turning around? It scared him knowing Elena had such power over him, able to change him into this new person.

Tensing up he clenched his jaw as the phone rang again and again, feeling like it couldn't get to her voice fast enough. It didn't help that he was impatient to begin with. Letting out a huff he walked quickly down the street before taking a sharp breath in hearing her voice on the other line.

"Hi you've reached Elena's phone..." the voice mail began, earning a irritated huff from Damon ending the call.

Blurring the rest of the way to her house he slammed the door behind him. Jeremy obviously wasn't home yet which he was grateful for. He wasn't exactly in the mood dealing with the baby Gilbert and he was seeing red. Storming up to Elena's room he froze, burrowing his eyebrows.

Everything looked thrashed. It was obvious Stefan tried to find some clue, some hint as to where Elena went. Rolling his eyes his thought automatically went to yelling at his brother, telling him how stupid he was trying to find some clue rather than actually going out and physically trying to find her. But hearing a sniffle, Damon's thoughts suddenly vanished. Standing up straighter he looked around the room before seeing Stefan sitting in the corner with his knees up to his chest looking completely defeated. He had only really seen his brother in this much despair only a handful of times in his life. The most recent? When he completely lost control and found him in the cellar feeding on bags with tears down his face.

"Stefan..." sighing he quickly forced his attitude into a softer one, walking over to his younger brother kneeling down in front of him.

He knew no matter how angry he was, Stefan was completely broken. He knew how much his brother loved Elena, wanted nothing best for her. Though sometimes his tactics sucked. So this guilt on top of letting her die was eating away at him.

"I...I don't know what else to do. I was going to wait until you got here to go look for her but I couldn't just sit here. I searched her room and called Caroline and Bonnie wondering if she had gone to their house but they haven't seen her. They're out looking for her." Stefan starts to ramble on, staring off into what seemed like nothingness, not even glancing at his brother.

Taking every piece of information in, Damon kept his face emotionless. Narrowing his eyes slightly at Stefan's words he sighed trying to figure out how to deal with his brother so he knew he was safe before leaving him. He didn't need two out of control vampires on his hands.

"Hey...relax. I'll find her ok? She couldn't have gone far. Knowing her she probably just went off to the cemetery because she didn't want to wake you." shrugging he tried to make it like it wasn't a big deal before patting Stefan's knee. "Come on. Get yourself in check because when I bring Elena back she's going to need you." he adds before standing back up. "I'll be back soon."

With that, Damon blurred as fast as he could out of the house and stood almost turning around in circles wondering where to start. Worried his thoughts might be correct about her urges he took a deep breath and stood still, closing his eyes. Focusing on his hearing he sorted through every passing sound. From cars, tvs, people walking and talking, to the water from the falls, Damon tried long and hard before catching something on his radar. Was that...crying? Deciding to take a chance he quickly used his supernatural speed to get him to his destination.

Stopping suddenly realizing he had made it he felt his mouth drop open slightly, knowing his emotions probably were evident all over his face. There she was, Elena, sitting on her knees on the cold ground surrounded by leaves which were probably no doubt getting all over her cloths and seeping through her pants. In front of her was what looked like a hiker covered in blood that was also seeping down his neck and onto the floor, creating somewhat of a puddle around his head. Elena sat almost in shock with her hands on her thighs and the tears streaming down her face.

Blood was smeared all across her mouth, staining the visible skin all around it, which struck a chord with Damon slightly. He had always seen Elena as human. So innocent, so perfect. He knew no one was perfect but the fact that Elena had that chance to live a full life, something he never could have, was perfection in his mind. But now? He had to get use to this site, no matter if she had lost control or was just feeding.

Seeing her finally acknowledge his presence he let out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding. She looked completely and utterly destroyed. It was her first kill, he could tell since there was no longer a heart beat coming from the man. He knew usually most of the newborns didn't exactly kill anyone at least until 24 hours after their turning. Which gave them a good day to somewhat deal with the situation and their heightened emotions. But it had been only a few hours for Elena. A few hours to mourn her own death, to have her moment and realize her life had changed forever.

Yet here she was having yet another thing on her plate. Something he knew she wouldn't be able to handle very well, vampire or not. Swallowing hard he tried to take in the situation surrounding him, wondering how he would deal with the body and Elena at the same time. They couldn't afford having some hunter after them, not right now.

"Damon." he heard in the most pitiful, raspy voice, coming from Elena.

He winced slightly at the sound of his name, feeling his dead heart practically break for her. She must have had been there awhile, sulking in her mistake, crying. Enough to where her voice would be cracked.

Letting his gaze flicker back over to her he practically wanted to wince seeing how visibly shaken she was by the whole ordeal. But he forced a sad smile instead, making his way over to her finally.

* * *

Elena honestly couldn't explain how she felt by the time Damon suddenly showed up. It felt like a lifetime since she had killed the poor man, draining him of his blood. God why didn't she stop?! She knew why deep down. It tasted so good, like having the greatest food on earth and you just don't want to stop, afraid you'll never have that feeling or moment ever again. But as soon as the moment ended, it was like her whole world crashed down around her.

She had killed someone. Elena Gilbert had killed someone. Her first kill as a vampire.

She tried to keep herself constantly moving, rubbing her hands up and down her thighs trying to make them stop their shaking. Her whole body was cold, wind blowing against her making her tears practically like ice sickles. Her eyes throbbed from crying so much and so hard while her gums throbbed aching for more. Not only did the guilt continue to eat at her but the constant struggle with her urges against her morals was breaking her down.

"Hey...I'm here. It's ok Elena." she heard Damon say, watching him as he walked over and knelt down in front of her.

She knew what he was doing, blocking her from the sight of the body. She should have moved, made it less torturous for her. But she just couldn't. It was like her legs wouldn't budge. She knew if she tried to even stand she would either fall back down or throw up. Her stomach was in knots and she hated it.

"I...I..."

"I know Elena. It's ok...shhh. You don't have to say it right now. Let me take you home. First I need you to cover your eyes for me though." Damon says interrupting her.

She could tell he meant business, no matter how soft his tone was. Just the way he looked at her she knew he wanted to get something done and he didn't want her to see. Deciding not to fight against it she nodded weakly, closing her eyes and putting her hand over them just for good measure.

She could hear wind moving quickly and shuffling of the leaves. She honestly didn't want to know what he was doing though she had a good idea. Being around vampires for a good while in the end gave her good insight to her new life. Whenever they feed on actual humans they had to clean up their mess, make sure no one found the body so they didn't have people after them. But knowing the man wouldn't have a proper burial, that he might have family that would be worried and looking for him, broke her heart all over again. Feeling her chin tremble she felt her chest tighten with a new wave of tears forming.

But before she could break down she felt a warm hand against hers, pulling her hand away from her eyes.

"Hey...I'm right here. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. I promise you." Damon says looking at her in what looked like complete sadness.

Nodding lightly she knew she could trust Damon. He didn't open up much but when he did, she knew to never question it. Staying silent she noticed her vision becoming blurred, wrapping her arms around his neck as she buried her head into the crook of his neck.

"I don't want to go home with him there. Please...take me home with you." she murmurs innocently with a sniffle before letting the floodgates loose.

Her shaking returned, getting another flood of emotions at what just occurred. Crying in silence she sniffled now and again, feeling Damon getting up off of the ground with her in his arms. She didn't know why she said what she did. But she knew if she saw Stefan, after disappearing on him, more guilt would only pile up. She knew he was probably beating himself up over this and she didn't know how much more she could handle seeing before she cracked. But of course there was always that small voice in her head that was screaming at her, knowing one major reason why she wanted to go with him was to be with him.

"Ok. Just sleep alright? I'll take care of you Elena." Damon says warmly and comforting, rubbing her back with his hand, walking towards his house through the woods.

Nodding once again Elena just continued to cry and cry into Damon on their slow walk back to the boarding house. She was slightly surprised Damon was letting her lash out the way she was but she was also grateful. She didn't want to keep this in, she couldn't. It was like her emotions were on full attack and there was no way she could hold anything back.

Slowly but surely, her crying episodes made her more and more exhausted. Closing her eyes finally letting up only to small sniffles, Elena took in the feel of him walking her back to his house. The constant, steady flow up and down as he walked through the woods and out onto the street, the warmth he seemed to put off. Everything she took in, gradually feeling her body relax into his. The last thing she remembered before she fell into a deep sleep was Damon laying her down onto his bed, brushing the hair from her face and whispering goodnight. She knew there would be a lot to deal with the next day. But right now, she didn't care. Her body shut out the events that happened that night, letting her drift off peacefully.


End file.
